Bears, Porcupines and Those In-Between

Maintaining relationships takes skill whatever the circumstance. The ability to get along with others is no less important in your professional life than it is in your personal life. Considering the fact that the majority of your time is spent with your co-workers it simply makes sense that the cultivation of strong interpersonal skills be addressed.

• Be a good listener. It's hard to gain a clear understanding of the point someone else is making if you are already forming your response to what they are saying the moment they open their mouth.
• Stick to non-controversial topics. Although it may make for some interesting conversation, topics such as religion and politics are best restricted to personal forums. The workplace is not the place to get into a heated argument about which political platforms are best for the country.
• Respect individual differences and diversity. We all come into the workplace with our own set of past experiences and personality traits. Just as there are traits of others you may find difficult to work with, there may be qualities you exhibit that are equaling difficult for others. Look, instead, to the value that varying backgrounds brings to the organization. You are in it together, you have to make it work.
• Manage your reputation (e.g. r-e-s-p-e-c-t yourself). Always keep in mind that the actions you take and the words you use paint a picture of who you are. Don't let everyday annoyances escalate into a reaction that you will regret.

This video from video-sharing site Daily Motion will provide you with a few more tips, specifically on how to manage a difficult co-worker.

Smiles and Frowns are Contagious

The October 2011 issue of SHRM's HR Magazine contains a short article by freelance writer Alice Andors entitled You Can Cry if You Want To. The article is written around several questions such as "Is it okay to cry at work?" and "Does crying at work damage a man's reputation more than a woman's?". You may be surprised at the answers (yes it's okay and no, the opposite is true). The article ends with an answer as to why human resource personnel may be observing more displays of emotion now: "The anxiety level is overwhelming today - anxiety about keeping up with change, parents aging, kids in college, job security, world instability. Tears and anger are byproducts of deep-lying fears and frustrations for both men and women." 

While no one can dispute these are challenging times, what has long been a source of contention is whether true expressions of emotion in the workplace are acceptable? Has the current state of things affected general consensus on the topic?  My view? I agree, in general, with what Andors indicates in the article though I would add this: expression of emotions are acceptable in the workplace so far as they are addressed positively and professionally. Let me explain. In times of stress, productivity may suffer as morale dives. If employees feel they must continually put on a pleasant facade, then the downward spiral of poor morale and dwindling productivity is only encouraged. Conversely, if an expression of anger (and we're not talking "throwing a chair into the vending machine anger", we're talking "I'm visibly upset and I want to address the issue with you anger") or of sadness is apparent - fulfill the role of the bartender. Listen, guide, and encourage.  

Is there a negative to being negative (e.g. displaying emotions construed as negative) in the workplace, though? In Managing Emotions in the Workplace: Do Positive and Negative Attitudes Drive Performance?, Wharton School professor Sigal Barsade's findings are discussed. 

If the company is losing money and experiencing the effects of downsizing, should the manager, feeling stressed and overwhelmed, convey his despair to his workers? Or should the manager try to appear cheerful and act as if nothing is wrong? Barsade says it's possible for the manager to convey emotions that are both authentic and positive, saying something like, "I know you're worried. Things aren't looking good, but you know, we have a way out of this and we can work [on it] together." The employees will appreciate the honesty and take comfort in the optimism, she says.