Don't Stand Too Close To Me

To continue with my communication theme I thought it would be fun (yes fun) to use personal space and nonverbal cues as a topic. Have you ever tried to not communicate with someone? Even when you attempt to stop communicating with someone you are communicating. Remember that communication does not just involve what is spoken, but also includes what remains unspoken and, in a significant portion, nonverbal cues. Let's focus on the nonverbal cues. What comprises a nonverbal cue? Here is a list for starters (I know you can think of some additional ones once you read over these):

• Attire

        Suit or shorts, t-shirt and flip flops?
        Subdued color or wild, geometric patterns?
        Lots of decorative jewelry or discrete pieces here and there?

• Decor

        Pictures of multi-continent travels or posters about teamwork?
        Personal artifacts or family photos?
        Cozy, soft chairs or "velvet smoking jacket" leather chairs?

• Body Posture

        Arms folded across the chest or hanging casually by the sides?
        Palms out or in?
        Sitting back and relaxed or straight up and leaning forward?

• Eye Contact/Facial Expression

        Looking directly into your eyes or down at the ground?
        Distractedly looking around the room or at own hands?
        Corresponds to the message or is disconnected?

• Arrangement of Space

        Sitting behind the desk or next to you at a table?
        Placement of personal items throughout?
        Papers spread out across desk?

Use the above questions to make yourself more aware of nonverbal cues and to assist you in communicating more effectively with others. Each of these cues provides insight into personality, power structure, and even the meaning behind the message.

Now, onto the really fun part...personal space. Personal space is your individual and invisible boundary within which encroachment may cause you some measure of anxiety. We have all had that uncomfortable feeling of someone (okay, let's say it's the "close talker" from Seinfeld) getting just a little too close for comfort. What do you do in that situation? Step back a little? Or does your reaction depend upon whether the person is male or female (and whether you are male or female), your age (as well as the other person's age), and position of power? I bet it does. Let's take a look at a couple of interesting things. First, did you know that there are several possibilities when it comes to personal space bubbles? Take a look at this illustration from Cornell University School of Industrial Labor and Relations.

Which bubble is yours? How is your bubble different in different situations and with different people?

Here is some more interesting information regarding individual personal space. It is a wonderful web page replete with photos to illustrate their points and was compiled by students at Worsley School, located in Northern Alberta, Canada: http://www.worsleyschool.net/socialarts/personal/space.html