I was recently in a meeting where I wanted to make a point yet was cognizant of not offending the receiver of the message. After attempting to relay the message "softly" I found that, to be understood, I had to simply "just say it". Being a person who can alternately be called passionate in one circumstance or stubborn in another I know how I can be perceived and I do have an awareness of adapting communication styles. What is more difficult to be aware of are the finer subtleties involved in knowing what style you are, what the other styles are, reading each situation, and determining which style is best to use. Communication is greatly about competencies and yes skill.
I believe most people have their default communication style and when you are adept at using a hammer, all the world looks like a nail (yes, I did use the cliche). Unfortunately, using your hammer in all situations will only make it difficult to achieve success. To be an effective communicator remember to (as taken from Cornell University, School of Industrial and Labor Relations):
- Choose the right behavior for the situation
- Exhibit understanding of the other person's concerns
- Consider the possible underlying reasons for other's behavior
- Use your skills
- Self-monitor and adjust where needed
- Display a commitment to mutual benefit
Curious as to your communication style and not ready yet to take a Myers-Briggs assessment or another intensive assessment? Try the quicky here: http://www.pearsonhighered.com/thompson_ob/html/ch04open.html from the textbook Organizational Behavior Today by Leigh L. Thompson and see if the result fits your perception of yourself.
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