Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Remember that little song by Santa Esmeralda (okay, I do listen to disco from time to time, it's my guilty pleasure) that pleads: "I'm just a soul whose intentions are good"? Those lyrics popped into my head as I was thinking about communication. How often have you had a message to convey that somehow did not reach the intended receiver as you had hoped? Did you blame the receiver for not paying attention or did you stop and consider what their communication style is? Quite often in my career I have had the opportunity to work with some very talented people. These people were recognized for their talents but were also, sometimes to a greater degree, known for the "quirks" in their personality. What it came down to was learning how to best adapt to each person's style of communication. What communication style are you? There are several models to choose from - let's try the HARP model. The HARP model defines four, distinct communication styles:

Harmony (otherwise known as "Can't we all just get along")

The person using this style as their main style (we all use the four styles at various times though we have main styles we use most often) is focused on maintaining relationships. They do not like confrontation and seek to avoid it.

Action (the "Get-r-done" people)

This person gets jazzed about possibilities and being part of forward movement. Action people, though, have a wee bit of difficulty stepping back and taking in the overall picture. Details are not this person's strength.

Rational ("Just the facts" here)

Logic, reason, and detail are the friends of Spock and those using the rational communication style. These people want clearly defined plans and want to keep emotion out of the process. They like to see the light at the end of the tunnel and they enjoy the walk through the tunnel even more.

Pragmatic (Just maintain control....)

These people want it done their way and like to see results. Pragmatic people are highly focused and highly competitive. Game on...

Can you identify your main communication style? What about the style of your boss, co-workers, reporting staff, and even your significant other/other family members? Now, how to you adapt your communication style when conveying a message to someone with a similar style? A very diferent style?